Thomas Scovell ‘77

Thomas Scovell ‘77 header image 3

Civil Union

An Open Letter

Joanna Eaton and Thomas Scovell
Auckland CBD, Auckland
New Zealand

thomas [at] thomasscovell.com
jo [at] joannaeaton.com

August 22, 2005

To Whom It May Concern:

We, Joanna Eaton and Thomas Scovell, would like to announce the change of our marriage (originally celebrated on February 9, 2002) to that of a civil union on this day. We do this strongly believing that this form of partnership more accurately reflects our relationship to each other and within society.

At the time of our marriage, the civil union was not an option we were able to consider when seeking to formalise our partnership, but since its passage through parliament we have been vocal supporters of it for both different sex and same sex couples.

We do not wish our choice to change our marriage to a civil union to act as an insult to those who see (and more importantly use) religion as a positive thing within society and who see marriage as an integral symbol of partnerships within their faith. Neither of us hold formal religious beliefs, but respect those who do and use them for good.

We do, however, wish it to be taken as a statement regarding our view on modern relationships between equals. Also, less positively, unfortunately, as a comment on the sectors of society who have put the last nail in the coffin of “marriage”.

The likes of Brian Tamaki of the Destiny Church are quite right that civil unions have tarnished the meaning of the term marriage. For in their (and others’) vehement opposition to the idea of gay marriage and civil unions they have shown without a doubt that the “institution” of marriage is just that, a stale institution with so much baggage and littered with so many preconceptions that it degrades a relationship to formalise it under such a name.

Mr. Tamaki’s ilk’s idea of what a marriage is speaks poorly of anyone who lives in such an institution. It harks back to centuries past where a patriarchal society and relationships with men firmly in the driver’s seat and women firmly latched to the kitchen stove were the accepted norm. When homosexuals were demonised and the aim of a marriage was to produce a strong male heir to carry on the family name and wealth.

We believe that individuals, of any sex or type, who wish to show to society that their relationship is enduring and important to them, should be able to do so in a secular fashion that does not imply any particular power dynamics or future intents as marriage does and we welcome the civil union as a means of doing this. We hope that it becomes a popular form of uniting loving people in New Zealand who enjoy the benefits to them and society of a relationship based on equality, the consideration of consequences and what is best for many, not just the couple.


“I, Thomas Ambrose Scovell,
take you, Joanna Eaton,
call upon our families and friends gathered here
to witness that I love you.
I am committed to our partnership

I promise to be your lover, companion and friend,
Your ally in conflict,
Your student and teacher
Your comrade in adventure,
Your consolation in disappointment
Your accomplice in mischief
Your strength in your need

I seek to share with you
a relationship of love
and humour and tenderness

I will always try to be open and honest with you
I will share my life
and my worldly possessions
and my thoughts and feelings with you

I will help you fulfil your needs
I will allow you to be yourself
I will rejoice in your growth

I will stand by you through our futures together
respecting you
supporting you
and enjoying you”

These are our original wedding, now civil union, vows.

Yours with love,

Joanna Eaton and Thomas Scovell.

Further Info

A married couple who wish to continue in a relationship with each other may change the form of that relationship to a civil union without being required to formally dissolve their marriage. For them, the process begins with a ‘Notice of Intended Civil Union, change of relationship from marriage’.